A Harry Potter madlib
by ex-LongLongHair
Summary: This is what is known as a madlib. You fill in the blanks and come up with an (almost) original HP fanfic! Please come and try. All are relatively funny. You don't need much, just a mouse and your clicking finger! Even if you have no idea what I'm going o
1. Mwahahaha!

A/N: Alrighty then. Playing with computer programs can be frustrating at times. After looking at someone else's "madlibs" using forms, I decided to do the same. So here it is.

One fine day in the Gryffindor common room... 

Harry: Hey, where's my  ... wand broomstick cloak and dagger underwear Charms textbook ?

Ron: I dunno. Maybe  ... Hermione Draco Malfoy Professor McGonagall Professor Snape Filch has got it.  


Harry: I really doubt that.  


Ron: You never know. Remember that time when  ... Parvati Pansy Mrs Norris Goyle Ginny had your  ... Glasses Toothbrush Left shoe Sneakoscope Toenail clippings ?  


Harry: Yeah. That was the most  ... embarrassing annoying confusing stupefying shocking ... day night evening afternoon morning of my life.  


Ron: Oh dear. I seem to have my  ... robes hair finger nose homework stuck  ... under the chair on the door handle to the window in the fireplace up my nose , and I can't get it unstuck.  


Harry: Here, let me help you with that. (Yanks hard on offending  ... robes hair finger nose homework . They both end up  ... flying head first into the fireplace unconscious on the sheepskin rug lying on a table nearly getting impaled on a sharp stick on top of an unsuspecting Hermione. )  


Hermione: (Jumps up) Hey, watch it, you two! You nearly  ... broke your necks killed yourselves broke the table and ruined my homework got killed killed me by suffocation! !  


Harry: Oh, sorry, Hermione. We didn't notice, um...  


Hermione: How could you not notice  ... my new hair style my concern I was there your almost certain death the sign , you  ... low down, stuck up, half witted, scruffy looking nerf herders imbeciles idiots adorable dingdongs hunks ?  


Ron: Erm...I dunno. (Scratches  ... head arm leg stomach foot furiously, then pulls several  ... bits of fluff mice bats dusty lollies week-old biscuits out of pockets and offers them to Harry and Hermione.) You want one?  


Harry:  ... Thanks, but no thanks. Sure. Don't be stupid. I'd love one! What flavours do you have? What the hell are they?   


Ron:  ... The purple ones are really nice. I like the green ones, personally. Sure you don't want one, Hermione? The grey ones are bland at the best of times. How about some apple seeds?   


Hermione: Are you sure they're  ... safe legal nice up for offer what they're supposed to be ?  


Ron: Don't worry. Everything will be just fine.  


Harry: Uh oh. I think I see my missing  ... wand broomstick cloak and dagger underwear Charms textbook . It's  ... flying around sitting on in on top of been ripped apart by ... Neville's bedside table the quidditch field the Forbidden Forest Lavender's bookbag Snape's head .  


Ron: What is it doing there?  


Hermione: It looks like-yes, it's  ... just lying there eating a lamb chop doing the tango cavorting with a chicken dismantling Snape's desk !  


Harry: Okay. Maybe we should all go to Hogsmeade and get some  ... fresh air catnip burgers acid pops with real acid potting mix ?  ... Nitric acid Gooseberry Sealing wax Burnt rubber Jalapeno is the flavour of the week.  


Hermione: Yes. That's a really good idea.  


Ron: Well, what are we waiting for?  


A/N: Okay. I know that had no plot. But it was funny, wasn't it? Please tell me. My email is twelveeyes@hotmail.com if you don't want to review this. Even if you don't want to review, you can flame. Or something like that.  



	2. Another one...

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A/N: Hello everyone! Here's another madlib for you people.

One day in potions...

Harry: Ron, would you come over here and help me with  ... this darn stupid this lovely this annoying this b-grade my malfunctioning ... shoelace bunch of flowers book pair of jeans broomstick ?

Ron: Sure thing, Harry. What's the problem?

Harry: Oh, nothing big. It's just that it keeps on  ... pulling down my getting stuck between my biting off my poking me in the carving bits out of my ... front teeth chest behind eye brain .

Ron: Don't worry 'bout it, Harry. That's nothing compared to the time when  ... Fred I Hermione Dumbledore Malfoy had to  ... rip off kill adopt keep frame the thing that was  ... attached to living on bouncing on lying under flying around ... Madam Pomfrey's nightgown Ginny's bookcase my bed your head Hermione's hairclips .

Harry: Right...I'm sure that was tough. Are you going to help me or not?

Ron: All right, then. (stops whatever it was from doing whatever it was doing to Harry). Now, shall we get on with  ... our homework breaking out of this dungeon chopping up slugs drawing pictures of ferretboy this potion ?

Harry: What? Oh yes. Spiffing idea. (They do whatever Ron suggested they do)

_fifteen minutes later..._  
_somewhere on the Hogwarts grounds, testing out their potions on unsuspecting plants_

Ron: Harry! Harry! Help me! A man dressed in black robes is attacking me!

Harry: Oh no! It's the return of Voldemort! Aahhhh! My scar hurts...hurts...too...much...(faints)

Ron: Why does that stupid scar always do that just when we're in mortal peril?

Hermione: (galloping up in shining armour on a white horse) Don't worry, Ron and Harry! I'll save you!

Ron: I don't believe it.

Hermione: You'd better, otherwise you'll be getting my  ... wand custom-made sword lacy dress robes dragon hide gloves largest and heaviest book ... shoved up your nose thrown at your head in your bed following you around like a shadow swallowing and then regurgitating you !

Ron: Great. Now can we get outta here?

Hermione: Wait a minute. I just have to  ... fix my hair get my wand kill that evil guy put Harry on the horse do my homework .

Harry: Urrgh. Help...dark...side...can...not...resist.....

Hermione: Oh, Harry! Don't go over to the Dark Side! I'll miss you heaps, and so will Ron!

Harry: Well, in that case...what the heck, let's get back to potions! Life is too short to go to the Dark Side!

Ron: That's the spirit. (They all get on Hermione's white horse and gallop off into the sunset-no, back towards Hogwarts) 

Hermione: Ooh, look! It's a  ... jumping dancing flying wrestling yodelling ... pig fairy pumpkin tome biro ! I must go and look at it!

Ron: Hermione, we don't have time to go after  ... hopping twirling flapping fighting singing ... hog sprite squash book pen s. We have to get back to potions-Snape'll  ... take 500 points off Gryffindor blow his top be furious chuck a wobbly disembowel us if we miss any more.

Hermione: Oh my gosh! You're right! I can't get less than 176% this year! (taps horse with her wand and the horse goes really fast-and they're back in the potions dungeon)

Snape: So, Miss Granger. Have we been on any daring escapades lately?

Hermione: No sir, I mean, yes sir, I mean  ... whatever you say get stuffed go fly a kite take a long walk off a short pier I love you sir.

_(Startled gasps from all the students in potions)_

Ron: Hermione! You didn't just say that, did you?

Hermione: Of course I did, you  ... idiotic dim-sim witted stupid immature little ... git wingding half-wit blockhead nerf-herder ! Now let me get on with this assignment before we're both beheaded!

A/N: Hmmm...Yes. Not very funny, huh? Plot nonexistent and inconsistent, huh? Yoda. I seek Yoda. Maybe he will guide me in the ways of madlib writing...then again, maybe not. Okay. So if any of you have words of wisdom to impart on me, please do so. If your words don't hold all that much wisdom or none at all, still impart them on me, with the help of the little box down below...


	3. And another...

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A/N: Well, after watching a particularly boring episode of the X-Files, I decided that some fanfic writing would be in order. So here I am, trying to write another Harry Potter madlib.

HP: Hey Ron, do you have my favorite  ... quill boxers magazine chain mail suit pair of socks ?

RW: What? No, I don't. What kind of crazy person do you think I am? That _thing_ is so  ... grotty fashionable expensive dust-coasted smelly that even Malfoy wouldn't touch it with  ... a ten-foot pole his fellow Slytherin's ten-foot pole his worst pair of dragon-hide gloves a nerf-herder's whip a spark from his wand .

HP: It's not that bad, is it?

RW: Yeah, yes it is.

HG: What are you two arguing about now?

RW: None of your business, Hermione! Now go away before I  ... rip chop pull shred blow your  ... hair head arm teeth robes off! It's so  ... annoying stupid big bushy scratchy , I don't know why anyone would put up with it!

HG: It's not my fault! It's a hereditary trait! My parents had it before me, and their parents before them!

HP: You two, don't go on like that. We have to get our  ... homework done annual showers reports finished tetanus jabs new dress robes .

HG: Yes. We do. Now come on, let's get it done before lunchtime. I want to show something to you two after.

HP: Something?

RW: Is it food?

HG: No, it isn't. And it's a surprise. So don't even think about asking again.

RW: Fine then.

HP: Ron, are you sure you don't have it? I'm pretty sure I lent it to you last week, and you haven't given it back, as far as I know.

HG: Which won't be very far if you don't do your homework.

RW: I can't say that's true, Hermione. I haven't done much homework since I came to Hogwarts. And I still know quite a bit.

HG: What about, putting  ... dirty smudges grimy paw-prints ink blots cat hair scorch marks on your  ... nose books ears robes head ?

RW: Hey! That's not fair!

HG: Yes it is. Isn't it, Harry?

HP: Hmm? Oh, yes, yes it is.

RW: Traitor!

HP: Shut up, Ron. I'm trying to get my  ... transfiguration book wand second-best pair of gloves fur-lined cloak marbles . It's wedged  ... behind the fireplace under the chair in between Hermione's front teeth between these chairs in my left pocket . No idea how it got there.

HG: I think Ron can explain this very, very well.

RW: No I can't! I don't know a thing about it!

HP: What, just like you didn't know anything about how your  ... car house rat wand broomstick ... crashed into turned into blew up burned was found in the  ... Whomping Willow staircase Great Hall bookcase girls' toilets ?

RW: Uh, well, that was different!

HG: And how is it different?

RW: Um....Look! I see  ... Millicent Bulstrode Pansy Parkinson Draco Malfoy Colin Creevey Cho Chang 's undies flying across the lawn!

HP: Where?

RW: Hah! Made you look!

HG: Don't be silly, Ron. They're there, all right, on the end of Malfoy's broomstick. And how did you know they were his/her/its undies? You been doing stuff you haven't told us about, Ron?

RW: No, it was just a lucky guess, really.

HP: Hermione, how do you know they're whatsername's thingies anyway?

HG: Enhanced vision charm. Page 523 of your charms book, if you'd care to look.

RW: No, I wouldn't. I'd rather look at photos of  ... Snape McGonagall Fleur Delacour Cho Chang Bill . Much more interesting.

HP: Ahhh. So that's what you've been doing, locked up in that  ... broom closet trunk cupboard trinket box chest of drawers .

RW: No I haven't! I've been kissing Hermione in the  ... broom closet trunk cupboard trinket box chest of drawers !

HG: No, we haven't! Get your mind out of the gutter, Weasel boy!

HP: Okay...

RW: Don't you call me Weasel boy! I'm not a Weasel boy!

DM: I beg to differ.

HP: Malfoy! How did you get in here? You been  ... mixing with dallying with consorting with involved with corrupting innocent Gryffindors again?

DM: Well, if you put it that way, I doubt they're innocent anymore.

RW: If you've been anywhere _near_ ... my sister my brothers Colin Creevey Parvati Neville , I'll kill you, you  ... Slytherin scum ratface air head smarmy git ignorant bastard !

DM: Oh really?

RW: Yes, Ferret boy!

DM: Ferret boy, is it? Wait a minute, let me get into my silver stockings and my green jocks. Can't forget the cape either.

HG: Ferret boy? (collapses on the floor in a fit of laughter)

DM: Ferret boy! Protector of the strong! Defender of the powerful! I've come to your rescue, my love! I'll save your underwear from that  ... dastardly inferior stupid beautiful crappy Gryffindor broomstick!

HP: Gryffindor broomstick? That's your broom out there, Malfoy.

DM: No it isn't!

HG: He's right. That's a Firebolt, not a Nimbus 2001.

DM: Hah! And what, may I ask, were you doing with that article of my beloved's clothing?

HP: I didn't do anything. I'd say you did it.

DM: Me? Okay, then. You die, Potter!

HP: I can't die!

DM: You can't?

HP: Yes! I am  ... INVINCIBLE INVISIBLE INVERTEBRATE INCOMPARABLE INCONSEQUENTIAL !

DM: Okay. Look, I think I will go before I'm contaminated with Gryffindor grime. Goodbye. (vanishes in a pouf of smoke)

HG: Well then. Anybody want tea and biscuits?

A/N: That probably wasn't as funny as the last one. I wrote a whole dialogue first, then substituted words. So you can see, it might not all as funny as I intended it. Well, that's life for you. _"Such is life"~Ned Kelly. _Yeah. So now go review, and tell me all your evil thoughts.


	4. No little pull-down thingys this time, b...

A/N: Here's another madlib-although this one needs a little more work

A/N: Here's another madlib-although this one needs a little more work.

You have to give answers for all these things, then stick them into the numbered places in the dialogue down below. Number 1 goes in (1), 2 goes in (2), and so on.

  1. Body part
  2. Noun
  3. Noun
  4. Adjective
  5. Plural noun
  6. Noun
  7. Adjective
  8. Plural noun
  9. Person
  10. Noun
  11. Adjective
  12. Plural noun
  13. Noun
  14. Noun
  15. Proper noun
  16. Number
  17. Proper noun
  18. Noun
  19. Adjective
  20. Noun
  21. Noun
  22. Spell
  23. Person-good or evil it doesn't matter
  24. Plural noun
  25. Person
  26. Proper noun
  27. Verb
  28. Spell
  29. adjective

RW: Arrgh! My (1)! It hurts!

HG: No wonder. You've put (2) in it.

RW: Get it out! Get it out!

HP: Here, take some of my (3). It should help.

RW: Thank you. But I don't think I should take any.

HP: Come on, it won't hurt any more than it already does.

HG: Uh, Harry, I don't think now is the time for (4) (5). Please, Harry, the (6) is (7)

HP: Okay, okay. Don't get you (8) in a knot.

RW: Oh, look! There's (9)'s (10).

HG: Rewally? Ooh, look, it has (11)'s (12) as well.

HP: Hey! I see my (13) inside it!

RW: And that's my (14)! I wonder what they're doing there?

HG: (15) confiscated it (16) years ago. Didn't you notice it was gone before?

RW: Erm, well…No, I didn't. Do you reckon we can get it back?

HP: Of course we can. After all, I'm not called (17) for nothing!

HG: Right….

RW: To the (18)!

HP: Yeah!

***

RW: Die, (19) (20)!

HP: Eat this, you (21)!

HG: (22)!

(23): Arrgh No! Not the attack of the (24)

HP: You stole my (13), took Ron's (14) and killed (25)! You pay for this!

(23): Oh really?

RW: By (26), yes!

(23): I'm afraid I might just have to (27) you.

HP: I don't think so. (28)!

(23): …..(keels over and dies)

RW: Yay! We killed (23)!

HG: Whatever. Now we have to go back to the dreary life of (29) Hogwarts students.

HP: Damn! And here I was, thinking we could go on another adventure.

A/N: That's all. I hope you had fun. Bye!


	5. Whoa, what the hell happened here?

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A/N: Hello everyone! Well, after coming back from a hike for my bronze D of E, I decided that a little bit of fanfic writing would be in order. So here I am, not back from Marshmead yet, supposed to be doing homework but not because I just can't be bothered. So, down to the fanfic...

Just another Harry Potter madlib-  
complete with free examples!

One  ... stupid fine dreadful beautiful boring ,  ... sunny stormy windy foggy rainy afternoon,  ... Hermione Parvati Lavender Fleur Professor McGonagall decided to  ... do her washing eat a pineapple read a book take a long, long walk give Crookshanks a bath . There was a slight problem with that, the problem being  ... Harry Ron Professor Snape Hagrid John Howard had  ... broken painted fixed assimilated modified the  ... Milo tin computer jam tarts table bath tub . You may not see a connection between those two things, but because  ... Voldemort Draco Professor Snape Barbara Streisand Noddy had  ... sung about talked about found sat on threw some  ... potatoes Dilmah tea Prozac egg nog cinnamon sugar , she wasn't able to  ... find see collect use make the  ... chocolate canned beans bananas detergent green tea .

A/N: Whoa. Okay. That doesn't make any sense at all, so I'll start again sensibly. Or perhaps not so sensibly. We apologise for the inconvenience. All right. Due to massive problems, this will be very interesting...first, you need 2 characters. Anyone from a Harry Potter book will do. In this next bit, they'll be called (1) and (2).

(1) dropped (his/her)  object... books wand robes bag stuff on the  thing... floor chair bathtub barbeque table and sighed. "Oh (2) , how can I go on like this?" (he/she) asked.

"I don't know. Come here." (2) said, with (his/her) arms open. (1) walked over to (him/her), and gave (him/her) a hug. "Now tell me all your problems." (2) said gently.

(1) leant into (2)'s chest. (He/She) savoured the warmth of (2), and started talking. "I don't really know. I think it started with  person... Harry Ron Draco Fleur Professor Snape giving me a hard time about  ... the potions test my boxer shorts studying for the NEWTs my friend in the cupboard the broom cupboard . And then there was the time when  ... my hairbrush the clock your broomstick the thing in Harry's drawer Professor McGonagall's underwear started  ... to fly around to attack to suffocate to poke to shave ... Harry's Draco's Hagrid's Madam Pomfrey's Professor Sinistra's ... head ahem, you know... leg neck hand of its own accord. After that things just went downhill." (1) burst into tears. "It's just too much!" she sobbed. "I can't handle it anymore!"

"It's okay, (1)." (2) soothed (him/her), rubbing (his/her) back. "We'll work it out together. Now let's get you to bed. You look all worn out."

(1) and (2) slowly walked up the stairs together. (1) turned and looked into (2)'s  colour... emerald green pink blue red chocolate brown body part... eyes nose leg foot lips . "Oh (2)" (he/she) breathed. "I've always-"

"(1's last name)! (2's last name)! What are you two doing here?"  ... Professor McGonagall Professor Snape Dumbledore Hagrid the Ravenclaw prefect yelled. "You should be in your common room! Go there now!"

"But...we are." (2) replied. "See? It says it right here." (he/she) pointed at the sign, which clearly said in bright orange lettering 'Common Room'.

"Oh."  ... Professor McGonagall Professor Snape Dumbledore Hagrid the Ravenclaw prefect said. "My mistake. Quite sorry to disturb you two. Carry on."  ... Professor McGonagall Professor Snape Dumbledore Hagrid the Ravenclaw prefect walked away.

"Now what was that you were trying to say to me?" (2) gazed fondly at (1).

"Umm..." (1) flushed. "Nothing...just that...  ... I love you you have a bad case of halitosis you really need deoderant your hand seems to be falling off you've got something hanging out of your left nostril !" (1)'s hands flew to (his/her) mouth. "Oops. Forget I said anything!" and (he/she) rushed off.

A/N: Okay. If anybody has any idea what I was going on about, please tell me by typing it into the little box below and clicking the 'review' button. I'd really like to know. Thanks!

ex-LongLongHair


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